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Do you want the same things in life? Are you financially soluble? At its core, marriage is a social contract, so as unromantic as it sounds, being practical before heading down the aisle can be extremely beneficial later on in life. Again, it sounds unromantic, but Rowena, 69, told Pillemer that she found it very useful to write down the things that she wanted out of a relationship and evaluate whether those needs were being med before tying the knot.
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By that time in my life, I was awake to what I needed. Nowadays, people consider living together to be a crucial preliminary step to getting hitched. But, as counterintuitive as it sounds, studies have found that couples who live together before marriage are actually at greater risk for divorce in general, have higher levels of substance abuse and depression, tend to get divorced earlier, and even earn less money than those who waited until their wedding day.
Dating coaches say that the main reasons so many more people are single today than ever before is because people are too demanding. Back in the day, people got married because they thought someone was a good person who matched them well, and let the love blossom from there.
And, oftentimes, real love can blossom out of shared experiences, intimacy, and understanding. Crazy, right? But if your partner is eager to start a family or tie the knot, waiting more than three years can put a strain on the relationship. This sounds like something only people who feel like they were born in the wrong decade would do.
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Not to mention, hand-written letters are inherently romantic, and a great way to show you really care for someone. Any expert will tell you that honesty and good communication are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Being really detailed about your sexual history is also one of those things that just ends up breeding insecurity and jealousy.
But neither of you need to see your partner clipping your nails on the coffee table. But studies show that women still do significantly more household chores than men. If not, then the person doing more unpaid labor should be compensated by paying less in rent.
Nine ideas that will help you keep your marriage feeling fresh
No one is suggesting you swallow your emotions and put up a happy face for the sake of society. But arguing in public often makes things uncomfortable for the people around you and, perhaps even more importantly, waiting until you get home to argue can give you valuable time to reflect and cool down. Doing a classic Old Hollywood Kiss, in which a woman pops up her knee and a man swings her over before locking lips, can seem terribly hokey.
Thank you for the ideas well thought. Great article Carol. The weird thing was that he got an extremely high rate of sales! It does show that if you cultivate a good social following, your profitability also bursts through the roof. Nothing weird there, witty — how many car salesmen tell you they love you? He took the relationship one step further and you can imagine how many people those customers referred to him.
You know, years ago when I bought my first house, that agent sent us a little white board with a marker for taking notes on the fridge — every year. For about 15 years! What a great way to keep his name in front of us. We referred him a ton of people. He kept us on even after we moved to another city.
And you know what? We came to consider him as a friend really, not a realtor. I really needed to read this post! I have known for a while that I was really lacking in this area and had a few thoughts of what I could do, but never did it.
You had some great ideas here that I had never thought of for some reason. This was just the motivation I needed….
How to Tell Him You Love him - 10 Ways to Say 'I Love Him' Without Words
Great list. I love the idea of sending cookies — just the idea of a personal note is novel these days. My nemesis is the spot for people to leave a comment, like this one you use. So comments have to go to my email and then approved. I do get a ton of traffic but would love to have people comment on what they think and what they are listening to in the audio book world. Thanks for sharing such great tips. Skip to primary navigation Skip to content Skip to primary sidebar.
Is your blog a lonely place? Maybe no one is visiting. What is that one element? And how do you use it to build an engaged and responsive audience?
Maybe readers were excited when they first discovered your blog. Then, deliver it. Give those readers credit — by name — for inspiring the content you create. Respond to their comments. They will feel validated and noticed.
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Email frequent commenters for feedback. These are often big fans, so deepen the relationship beyond the blog. Follow your readers on Twitter. Connect on LinkedIn. It just feels oh-so-friendly. Comment on their blogs. Retweet their posts. A retweet is a great compliment. You could build a whole post around one interesting comment, or create a mailbag roundup where you answer many reader questions. Remember to credit readers when you use their questions as sparks for content! Answer their emails. Any reader who takes the time to track down your email and send you a message outside your blog comments deserves a response.
Offer them job leads.
Nothing inspires gratitude like getting someone a gig, which is why many popular blogs offer a job board. Ask intelligent commenters to guest post on your blog. Do a guest post — or two — on their blog. This is one of the fastest routes for going from casual acquaintances to close friends. Take a poll. Hold an essay contest and feature the winners in a post. Let readers show off their writing for a change. Skype one of your readers. Mastermind with a half-dozen regulars. Sales guru Grant Cardone is masterminding now with fans of his new book — and recording it so others can benefit, too.
Arrange to meet local readers in person. Grab a cuppa joe at a local coffeeshop and just shoot the breeze. Record a free podcast or Webinar for your readers. Hearing your voice or seeing you on a recording makes a more intimate connection with listeners.